Life as a Yowler

The last two weeks have been some of the hardest weeks our family has ever walked through. I don’t always know how to put my thoughts into words, other than to blog or journal. So here is my attempt to express my thoughts and emotions.

Brandon’s grandma(his mom’s mom), Joann Walker has been a huge part of our life, along with her husband Andy Walker. Grandpa and Grandma live directly behind Brandon’s mom in Ohio. Whenever we visit Brandon’s mom, we also take the opportunity to spend time with Brandon’s grandparents. My kids love walking the path from Grandma Yowler to Grandpa and Grandma Walker’s house. My kids view Grandpa and Grandma Walker as another set of grandparents.

Grandma Walker, or as the kids call her Maw Jo, went to be with Jesus today at 2:15. It was heartbreaking, but also very comforting and beautiful. Grandma was so peacful through the whole process.

Grandma has not been well for a few months. She was put on hospice care last week. We knew it was coming. But nothing can prepare you for a loss so great, especially after just suffering the loss of Brandon’s dad. Brandon, myself, and our kids headed down to Ohio Friday. We spent all weekend at Grandpa and Grandma’s house. Brandon’s aunts, uncles, cousins, and cousin’s kids were also there. Grandma spent her time in her bedroom in her bed. We had an open door policy for everyone, including the kids. The kids could come and go as they felt comfortable. They were all very loving and very involved in the process of saying goodbye.

Grandma did NOT want to be in a hospital. She preferred to be in her own home, in her own bed. She valued family so much. She loved and cherished each of her kids, grandkids, and great grandkids. Life revolved around them. She wanted to be surrounded by family whenever possible.

Today, On Palm Sunday, we held a family church service in Grandma and Grandpa’s bedroom surrounding Grandma. This is EXACTLY what Grandma would have wanted. Brandon gave a message and Brandon’s cousin, Shawn, shared some scripture verses. A couple of the kids read Bible verses. We sang some hymns. We talked about memories of Grandma. Shortly after the church service, Grandma took her final breath. We knew she was waiting for the church service to be finished. She wanted to take us all to church one more time. It is so special to us that God took her on Palm Sunday. She is now rejoicing with her Savior. She is no longer in any pain! Her mind is clear and she no longer suffers from dementia. We are so thankful for the hope we have in Christ. We know that we will see her again someday.

After Grandma passed away, the kids went outside to play. Next thing we knew they came back inside and piled flowers on top of grandma. Not just any flowers, these were Grandma’s prized flowers. We all found it hilarious that the kids waited for her to pass then went and picked her prized flowers that they were never allowed to touch. The kids also did things like wear shoes in the house. They ate and drank on the couch. They immediately started abiding by Grandpa’s new rules. 🤣 Brandon’s one cousin has a dog named Molly. Molly joined us all weekend. Molly did things like jump up on the bed and cuddle with Grandma. It was like Molly knew that she would no longer be kicked off the bed. 🤣 After Grandma passed away, Caed gave Molly a huge hug and said “Molly, I know this has to be hard for you.” We all started laughing at that point.

Grandpa Walker tells me all the time that I remind him a lot of Grandma. He tells me we have both raised/are raising 4 kids(two boys and two girls). We both have husbands who work a lot and run businesses(Brandon is his Grandpa’s mini). We both like a very clean house, some may call it OCD. We both can’t sit still if there’s a mess in our home. We both prefer to be moving and accomplishing something, rather than sitting and wasting time. We both don’t love cooking, but can’t get around the fact that we have a lot of people to feed. We both have an extreme love of ice cream.

Grandma loved Jesus with all her heart. She leaves behind a rich Godly legacy. She was generous. She was loving. She was compassionate and so kind. She always thought of others before herself. She was fiesty and strong. She was quick witted and so funny. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. Grandma was truly Wonder Woman. She raised 4 kids that were only 27 months apart total in age. There’s 1 set of twins in there. I raised 3 kids under 3 at one point, and that season is such a blur. I can’t even imagine 4 kids in just a little over 2 years.

Back when Brandon and I first moved to Michigan, we would visit Ohio often. We would always stay with Grandma and Grandpa. I have so many memories of eating ice cream with Grandma every evening. I do love ice cream just as much as Grandma. Grandpa didn’t give me much of a choice of my size bowl, as he preferred to feed me about 5000 calories worth of ice cream each night. I quit arguing after about the 3rd time, and just determined that I had to exercise a lot harder every time I would visit them.

During Brandon and my wedding reception, the time came to cut the cake. Brandon, being the gentleman that he is, shoved chocolate cake completely up my nose and all over my face. Keep in mind I had a nose ring. This was fun. I heard Grandma yelling from the front row “You get him carla! You get him back!” So that’s what I did. I shoved cake right back up Brandon’s nose just for you, Grandma. The major bonus in all this is Brandon’s nose is twice as large as mine. He got twice as much cake up that nose and was picking it out the whole week of our honeymoon.

Grandma kept a prayer journal and wrote in it every day, until she started to lose her rational mind(on and off) around 3 years ago. We skimmed through her journal today. Clearly, the highlight of her life was when her great grandkids would come to visit. She loved those kids so much. She loved Jesus first and her family second. Brandon has a special needs cousin, Ben. Grandma had a huge soft spot for Ben. He was her special little buddy. She loved to serve him and one time she was left in charge of Ben. Brandon’s aunt came home to a report of “I fed Ben 11 peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches. He loved them.” This is a story that’s been told over and over and it makes me laugh every single time. She was quite a servant. Both she and grandpa LOVE to over feed people. Hungry isn’t even an option when you are around them.

Grandpa and Grandma valued family time. They treasured memories and traveling. For around 13 years, every year Grandma and Grandpa took their family out of the country on a week long trip at all inclusive resorts. This was the highlight of most of the grandkids’ year. They really formed strong bonds with each other and laughed and joked so much on their trips. I had the privledge of joining for one final family trip. We went to Mexico and I had an absolute blast. Unfortunately, Grandma had a hard time traveling after that, and she was no longer able to go on trips out of the country. The memories didn’t stop though. We just made other memories.

I told Brandon that the Walker family reminds me in a lot of ways of our family. Grandpa and Grandma did not have a perfect marriage. They fought sometimes. They fought hard, but they loved harder. They valued memories and traveling. The kids love each other deeply, but sometimes disagreements arise. The love is always stronger than the disagreements. The family loves Jesus with their whole heart. Grandma made sure hymns or worship music were played in her home. She modeled a daily devotional life. Grandma and Grandpa were very involved in their church, and they made sure to take their family to church each week.

Brandon’s mom, Lori, was the first family member to attend church when she was 12 years old. She came to know the Lord and later took her entire family to church. They all eventually accepted Christ and I am still amazed at the work God did in the Walker family. They are a close and loving family who are very strong Christians. They have been a huge blessing to each other and also many others in the community.

I hope to carry on the Godly legacy that Grandma modeled. I hope to be half the servant she was. I hope to be as selfless as she was. I hope to be as generous and giving as she was. I hope to be compassionate and caring, like her. I hope to pray for my family daily, like she did for hers. I hope to leave behind a very close family who enjoys being together. I want to have endless memories for my family to cherish always. I want to invest and pour into traveling and experiencing the world. I want to laugh a lot together. I want to truly enjoy being together. Lastly, I hope to provide my kids or others with 1/10 of the sandwhiches Grandma made for Ben.

I can’t express how much I’m going to miss you, Grandma. Thanks so much for modeling Godly character and a leaving a Godly legacy. My kids are all having a very hard time with this. This has been a lot of grieving in a very short time. I know that God is still good. I am cherishing and focusing on the memories. Grandma, I know you’re rejoicing with Jesus and enjoying Heaven. You are no longer in pain. You are free. You are healed. You are whole. We will see you soon!

One final note….some families lose weight during stress. The Walker family however took a different approach. They managed to eat 5 dozen donuts and 4 party size pizzas in less than 24 hours. 🤣 Lord, help us all.