Life as a Yowler

Caed summed up last night’s dinner fiasco perfectly when he said “dad, mom usually cooks.” Let me start at the beginning…..

Brandon graciously volunteered to cook dinner last night. I was somewhat shocked, but also grateful. We meal planned earlier this week to take us to the end of this trip without having to buy anything but produce, bread, and milk. Brandon loves meal planning and was feeling especially motivated. He was frying up some ham for ham and cheese sandwiches. My back was turned, and I was chopping lettuce and cucumbers and peaches when all the sudden I hear “fire!”

Yes, he literally started the toaster oven on fire. On top of that, he destroyed and I mean destroyed the kitchen. We had olive oil everywhere. Will I be accepting his requests to help out and cook ever again? Nope! Will I allow my kids to ever learn the life skill of cooking, aka, destroying my kitchen or starting fires….once again nope! I’ll just stick to my OCD ways and cook on my own forever.

I’m just kidding. I’ll allow the kids to develop the skill of cooking. I already do, and trust me it’s a stretch but I know it’s necessary.

FYI the toaster oven fire was contained thanks to turning it off and fanning the fumes with an oven mit. Joah graciously volunteered to pull the fire extinguisher off the wall, but thank heavens it didn’t come to that.

You can notice the oil splatters on the peach box.

Brandon has cooked very few times in our married life. I’ll tell three quick stories.

1. Back when Brandon used to tutor some kids, the kids’ mom asked Brandon to please turn on the crockpot at noon. He did turn on that crockpot. However, she forgot to specify to put the food in the crockpot. She came home to an empty crockpot, which was turned on in his defense.

2. Back when we were first married someone told Brandon to take ham and put it in the crockpot with bbq sauce for 12 hours. He did this one morning, while I was working my 12 hour shift day. I came home to a very hot smell and him chiseling with a hammer and screwdriver at the burnt to a crisp crockpot.

3. Again when we were first married, Brandon got home from work before me. I had gotten some meatballs out that I was planning to make. Brandon took it upon himself to make his own sauce. He kept tasting the sauce then adding more cayenne because he didn’t think they were spicy enough. Well long story short he probably added an entire bottle of cayenne. Neither of us could eat them. There wasn’t enough water in the world.