Life as a Yowler

I have been doing some self reflecting. I’m not sure if that’s smart or not. I have really been wrestling lately with feeling abnormal(as in having an abnormal lifestyle). I have been talking it through with Brandon. All my life I envisioned this time(the present) looking very different than what it does. I thought I would have wonderful, angelic, calm children. I never in a million years thought I would homeschool. I thought I would live in a nice big home designed by myself, not a hunting cabin. I always thought I would never leave the house because it’s too much work. I thrive on routine and I hate the unknown. I hate not knowing a for sure plan in life.

Brandon asked me today, “if you only have five more years to live, what do you want them to look like? Do you want to spend them living in a big nice home and never going anywhere? Or do you want to keep doing what we’re doing?” Now I know I probably have more than five years, but the bottom line is tomorrow is not guaranteed. That question really made me think. I want to live in the moment. I want to be 100% present and engaged in wifing and parenting. I want to keep doing what we’re doing. I want to live out my calling. My calling right now is to pour into my husband and kids. By supporting my husband and his job, I get opportunities. I get to travel and see and experience things I never have before.

I know a lot of people look at us and are probably envious. The same thing happens with me. I look at other people and get envious of their nice homes, or their normal routines. I get envious of the activities they are involved in. Social media is the worst for causing comparisons and envy. People probably look at us and think life is one big vacation. They don’t see the behind the scenes headache and stress. They don’t know that probably 70% of the time Brandon’s flights get delayed or canceled. He is stranded in an airport for extra time and trying to coordiate new plans and flights. Thy don’t see the stress and weight that’s on his shoulders from being an owner in the business. They have no idea the late night hours he has to drive, sometimes through the night. They have no idea the meetings and trainings he has to perform in. They don’t see the furniture he assembles and disassembles. He has had two hernia surgeries in the last year from having to carry furniture by himself(as in solid wood beds, dressers, tables, etc…. ) In the same way, we don’t understand everything other people have to go through. Sometimes we can look at doctors and think they have it made. We have no idea the crazy hours they have to work, the amount of schooling they had to go through, or the insurance they have to carry because of demanding entitled people. They are some of the hardest working people I know, nurses too!  We can look at school teachers and think they have it made because they get off weekends, holidays, and summers. I have absolutely no idea what they go through. I can hardly manage four kids, let alone a whole classroom. They are amazing and God bless them! I think the point I’m trying to make is each person has their own difficulties and struggles. I think we all can fall into the trap of wanting what someone else has. I am learning to be thankful for all that I do have. I am learning to strive for contentment in all circumstances.

This is where I’m at right now. God has me here for a reason. He brought me my husband for a reason. Brandon has helped me grow and challenges me daily to reflect and examine.  He is constantly challenging my way of thinking. He is showing me the importance of being flexible and less uptight. He is showing me the importance of investing into  relationships and pouring into our family. He helps remind me to keep an eternal perspective. This earth is not our home. The time we have here is fleeting. I want to spend it wisely. For now we will choose to spend it on opportunities and experiences. That is where God has placed us.

I am praying daily for a thankful, grateful heart. Let me be thankful for these times.  I get to see places myself, plus I get to see my kids faces as they experience things. That is one of the most rewarding things as a parent. I love seeing my kids learn, grow, and explore. I am teaching them to appreciate, value, and cherish the opportunity.

With all that being said, we are on the road again right now. I had the worst attitude packing and getting ready for this trip. This is really a struggle of mine. But I know it’s not too late to change my attitude. I want to make the most of this trip and start fresh. I look forward to when campgrounds open again, and we can take the RV. Hotels are fun, but let’s face it…..hauling the amount of luggage we pack in and out of hotels is not fun. My kids would argue different. They love pools and hotel breakfasts.

Part of the reason I get overwhelmed with packing is because I always wait until the last minute. I could pack a week early, but then we are without our things for that long. Plus, then we trip over suitcase all week. So procrastinating seems like the best option. Yesterday, we went to the Children’s Museum with some friends. I really debating on going, but I decided “Carla, you just have to go for it!” I want my kids to have experiences with friends too, not just their family. We had such a blast. Like always, I was so glad I went.

Brielle has a little bit of a crush on her friend, Boaz. I sent this picture to Brandon and he responded, “you are a terrible parent for allowing this.” 🤣

These two literally stuck together the whole time we were there.

We had such a fun time!

These two can fight, but they sure do love each other.

We usually wander around Walmart during Brielle’s dance classes. We got snacks, drinks, and pillows for this upcoming trip.

Side note. I think it’s safe to say I’ve now fully adapted to Daylight Saving time. Well, here we go again. We are headed to Minesota to claim back our lost hour, and confuse ourswlves again for the next few days.

Getting a little running in at a rest stop.

Caed ate it right in the dirt during the boys race.

Yay for tacos!